Silver Adept (silveradept) wrote,
  • Mood: contemplative
  • Music: Nobuo Uematsu - Awakened Forest

Ask me anything.

There's been a "post every day for a month, with topics selected by your reading list" going about. This is not that post. I could not commit to posting like that, especially with the chaos probability that is having animals and other people in the same house as you.

This is a post asking for topics that you want to see me post about, whether mundane or marvelous, low-brow, high-brow, or anything in between.

In addition to the inability to keep the schedule, I'm not doing the post-a-day version because I'm suffering from the duck problem. I thought about saying that I didn't think I was important to anyone, so why bother, but too many ready counterexamples nix that idea. And it's not just the people and animals that depend on me for food, shelter, and affection - the universe was even less subtle than usual in disabusing me of that notion, by having one of the regular teens at the library give me heartfelt thanks for the library being awesome since we reintroduced it to him in eighth grade with talk of excellent books, homework resources, and flying foldable discs that were not distributed until the day's end. Suffice it to say, the universe was having none of that self-pitying bull.

The right adjective is that I don't feel interesting enough to people for them to want to comment or ask questions of me. This is part of what can make things like love memes difficult - if I'm not nominated by someone else, does that mean I'm not interesting enough for them? If I self-nominate, but there aren't that many comments, am I too bland for someone to come up with something for me? I don't have the life experiences that make it important to deconstruct fiction or point out how obvious it is that Charlie Brown is just going through the motions when it comes to Christmas. And it's a one-way drive to Problematic City if I said something unthinking like, "Well, since I'm not visibly an oppressed minority, whether by gender presentation, race, sexual orientation, etc, etc, I'm not interesting, because oppression makes people interesting." or "Disability makes the world much more frustrating, but also interesting in how it gets dealt with, so disabled people are clearly more interesting." People who deal with that on a daily basis have interesting and mind-expanding thoughts and posts, but they themselves should not be exoticized into something interesting based on those characteristics. Plus, they would rightly chew me out for treating their experience that way. (That I've been socialized to think of it that way is a product of my provincial upbringing, and it gets firmly squashed if it starts to come out when in bad mental states.)

The other part is that I'm not really sure my hobbies or television watching or other such things would be of interest to others, because I'm used to a self-image that says the things of the mind are more important and worthy of speech than the things of the body. (Which more balanced people will point out is crap.) Wanting to present my most refined and intellectual self through linklists and commentary, I'm all-to-willing to dismiss the other parts of life, even as I give comments on those parts of life for others.

This is the duck problem, though - judging everyone else by their outside and me by my inside. And it can make for all sorts of weird conclusions based on comments or their lack. Which is part of why I thought the comment culture idea was brilliant - it's a package that allowed me to say, "I do not require this refinement for people commenting, so if that's been stopping you, please comment." (Anyone quipping, "Physician, heal thyself" right about now, I know, I know...)

So, as a way of trying to trick myself into getting out of my own head, and as a way of proving to myself that I'm interesting, ask me things, mundane or marvelous, body or mind, as the notion strikes you. Answers will be as comfortable as I feel answering, but only unasked questions get no answers.

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